Christmas on Voyager
by elsiecarson
Summary: The crew have a Christmas party on the holodeck and Kathryn finally tells Chakotay she loves him.
1. Arrival

Kathryn enters the holodeck in an evening gown and a full length coat. Her hair is swept up and back off her face. It's snowing gently and Kathryn walks across the field towards the mansion created for the ships' Christmas party. She pulls her coat tighter around her and hurries to the front door of the mansion. Christmas music floods out the front door as Kathryn enters. She follows the sounds of the music to the ballroom. She finds a table with eight chairs and sits down. Six of the eight chairs already are full and Kathryn hopes that Chakotay will take the other empty chair at the table.

Kathryn gasps as Chakotay enters the ballroom and slips his long coat off. He's wearing a tuxedo with a white jacket, black pants, black vest, black tie, black shoes, and a white shirt. Chakotay smiles as he sees Kathryn dressed in her silver evening gown and wrap. He smoothly walks across the floor to her. "Is there an empty seat at your table?" he asks as he reaches her.

"As it so happens there is an empty seat at my table." Kathryn says teasingly.

"Can I take your coat to the coat check?" Chakotay asks noticing Kathryn still has her coat on the seat next to her.

"Yes, thank you," Kathryn says passing Chakotay her coat.

"Save my seat." Chakotay says as he walks away. Kathryn watches him cross the ballroom. He oozes charisma from every facet of his body. The eyes of the ladies in the room follow him as he walks.

"Someone has fallen in love." B'Elanna whispers in Kathryn's ear. "Good pick by the way. He's gorgeous."

"How do I tell him? When do I tell him?" Kathryn asks as she watches Chakotay collect the coat check tickets.

"Tonight is the perfect time to tell him. This is a perfectly romantic setting and romantic time of year. He'll love the idea." B'Elanna says as she watches Chakotay come back across the room.

"Will he accept what I tell him tonight?" Kathryn asks quickly before Chakotay comes back.

"From what he's told me about his feelings for you he'll be more than accepting and receptive of your confession. He won't have anything to say against you." B'Elanna whispers, and smiles at her captain.

"I should go make my welcoming speech. I'll be right back." Kathryn says calmly. She walks across the room smoothly with her skirt swirling around her ankles. She climbs the four stairs up to the stage and takes her place behind the podium. She taps the microphone and waits for the room at come to attention. "Welcome to this ship's 3rd annual Christmas party. Please enjoy your evening. Let loose and let your hair down. Luckily synthehol won't cause any pain for tomorrow. Enjoy the rest of your evening." Kathryn steps down off the stage. Chakotay is there to meet her and extends his hand to help her down the stairs. The room starts buzzing as they notice the tiny amount of physical contact between their commanding officers.


	2. Dinner and Drinks

Kathryn and Chakotay walk arm in arm back to their table. They don't notice the whispers and the glances in their direction. Chakotay pulls Kathryn's chair out for her. The rest of the people sitting at their table slowly come over and join them. Kathryn smoothes her evening gown's skirt under her bum and sits down daintily. Chakotay pours himself and Kathryn a glass of water and then he asks Kathryn, "What do you want to drink?"

Kathryn ponders what she'd like to drink when she considers what she pre=ordered for dinner she realizes that white wine would work well. "I'd love some white wine, a pinot gris perhaps, I think. Thank you, Chakotay."

"I'll come back with a bottle then. I'll be right back." Chakotay says as he pushes his chair back from the table. He walks swiftly across the floor to the bar and orders the wine that he and Kathryn decided they wanted. He crosses back across the room carrying a bottle of wine and two glasses. In the pocket of his pants he carries a corkscrew to open the bottle. He reaches the table and quickly uncorks the bottle. He pours Kathryn a half glass of wine before depositing himself in the chair next to her. The waiters come around and serve the first course of dinner. Kathryn and Chakotay both get a green salad with Italian dressing. Kathryn draws her napkin across her lap before she begins to eat her salad. The noise around the table ceases as everyone begins to eat. Chakotay refills Kathryn's wine glass as she finishes her first one. As Kathryn finishes her salad her plate is quickly taken from her by one of the waiters. She subconsciously eats the mushrooms off Chakotay's salad plate. Chakotay never has liked mushrooms. B'Elanna leans towards her husband, Tom, and points out the odd habits of their commanding officers. "Interesting way of getting your extra share of mushrooms Captain." Tom Paris says cheekily.

Kathryn blushes. "I don't mind. I don't like mushrooms anyway." Chakotay says trying to deflect embarrassment from Kathryn.

"Oh, it's so sweet that you're defending her. You're not usually so vocal in defending her." B'Elanna says teasing her old friend.

Kathryn shakes her head as she watches her crew interact socially. She sips her wine and stays fairly quiet allowing her crew to just be themselves. Soon the waiters come around and serve the soup course. Kathryn has ordered the cream of mushroom soup and Chakotay has ordered the minestrone soup. Kathryn has a little bite of Chakotay's soup before she starts on her own.


	3. Confusion Over Human Behaviour

"I don't understand this idea of sharing food between couples. It doesn't make sense." Seven says as she observes her commanding officers.

"It's endearing. Sharing is an important part of a relationship. Sharing is what makes a relationship work well. Besides, sharing food is romantic. It means the people sharing are perfectly comfortable with each other. It's a positive sign for a relationship generally." Tom tries to explain.

"Are couples allowed to share cutlery as well or is that a faux pas?" Seven asks. She's still very inquisitive about human behaviour.

"They can if they're comfortable with it. Not all couples do though." Tuvok explains carefully.


	4. Girl Talk

As Kathryn finishes her soup she stands up and heads off in the direction of the bathroom. B'Elanna follows her.

"I hope that Seven's questions didn't make you uncomfortable." B'Elanna says as the ladies stand at the sink and wash their hands.

"I'm surprised that Chakotay didn't pick up on my behaviour from what Seven said actually." Kathryn says as she and B'Elanna walk back towards the ballroom.

"When are you going to tell him about your feelings?" B'Elanna asks quietly.

"When he asks me to dance later. That seems like a good time because we can be alone for a while." Kathryn says as she looks at Chakotay across the room.

"There's the balcony, too. You could always take him out there and tell him how you feel." B'Elanna says quietly as they cross the room.

"I didn't know there was a balcony off the ballroom. I'll decide later where we'll go." Kathryn says as they reach the table.


	5. Dinner With Friends

Just as they get back to the table the main course arrives. Kathryn's meal is a full turkey dinner and Chakotay gets a halibut Oscar dish with garlic mashed potatoes and vegetables. Chakotay pours himself another glass of wine and tucks into his meal. Kathryn cringes as she watches Tom eat his very rare steak. She can see the blood dripping from the meat his eating. She wonders if the steak con even be hot. She also notices that Chakotay is visibly cringing watching Tom eat meat. Chakotay doesn't eat meat but he'll eat fish.

Kathryn hums along to the Christmas songs being played in the room. The only people who know she's humming are Chakotay and Seven. "While Christmas music is nice I don't understand the human obsession with it or the emotional connection everyone seems to have." Seven says in a monotone.

Kathryn blushes when she realizes why Seven mentioned Christmas music. She often hums without realizing it. She loves Christmas very much, though she'd love to be home with her mother and sister in Indiana. Chakotay intervenes and tries to explain to Seven why Christmas and the music associated with it is so special. It's difficult to explain to someone who's never experienced the holidays before. A teapot and a coffee pot full of liquid are placed on each table and the guests are encouraged to go and get dessert from the buffet table. Kathryn and Chakotay walk arm in arm to the table. The rest of the crew allow the Captain and the Commander to go first to get dessert. Chakotay asks Kathryn if she'd like to split a chocolate mousse with him. She smiles and quietly concedes. She also gets some fresh fruit, a couple of cream puffs and a slice of traditional English plum pudding. She pours a lemon sauce over her pudding and a raspberry sauce over her cream puffs. She walks slowly across the floor. She doesn't want to spill anything on the way back to her seat.

Normally she only drinks coffee, but tonight she doesn't feel like having coffee. She pours herself a cup of tea and adds a dash of cream. Without really thinking about it she pours Chakotay a cup of tea. Chakotay always drinks tea; he never drinks coffee. Chakotay smiles at Kathryn. She's so thoughtful. She bites into one of her cream puffs and her eyes open wide in surprise. "What's wrong?" Chakotay asks noticing her facial expression.

"The cream puffs are filled with peppermint cream! I wasn't expecting that!" Kathryn cries indignantly.

Chakotay starts to laugh. He knows Kathryn didn't mean to be funny, but she is all the same. "It said right on the sign next to the cream puffs that they were full of peppermint cream. Didn't you read the signs?" Chakotay asks as he tries to stop laughing.

"I guess I didn't read them. I don't think I even noticed them." Kathryn says with a puzzled look on her face.

"Oh well, try some of the mousse, at least. You don't have to eat the cream puffs." Chakotay says as he picks up his spoon and eats his first bite of mousse.

"They're actually not that bad, but putting raspberry sauce over top wasn't the greatest idea. The filling is actually quite nice." Kathryn says as she picks up her dessert spoon and tries a bite of the chocolate mousse. "That mousse is absolutely divine!"

"It's so rich! I'm so glad we decided to split one. I couldn't eat a whole one on my own." Chakotay says quietly.

Kathryn eats another spoonful of mousse slowly. She slowly and sensually pulls the spoon out of her mouth. She looks directly at Chakotay as she does this. Chakotay bites his bottom lip as he watches Kathryn's actions. Damn, he thinks, she is so sexy and she knows it too.


	6. Dance With Me and Confession

Shortly after Kathryn finishes her pudding the soft strains of waltz music peals across the room. Chakotay leans closer to Kathryn and says, "Would you like to dance?"

Kathryn looks up at Chakotay and smiles. "I would love to dance. This music is perfect." Chakotay extends his hand to Kathryn and they walk onto the dance floor. Kathryn gasps as Chakotay pulls her closely to him and dances slowly across the floor. All eyes follow them across the floor. Kathryn leans her head on Chakotay's shoulder. She's so comfortable with him now, even in front of the entire crew. The music slowly dies down and Kathryn looks up at Chakotay and asks, "Can we go talk out on the balcony?"

Chakotay looks down at Kathryn in confusion. "We can if you want to. Let's go talk then." He wants to know what's going on with Kathryn.

Kathryn walks slowly towards the balcony. She's not sure to tell Chakotay what she need to tell him. Her hands are shaking and she's terrible nervous. "Kathryn is something wrong?"

"No, for once in the Delta Quadrant, everything is right. I'm just not sure how to say this." Kathryn says quietly. She feels as if her confidence has deserted her.

"Just say what you need to say. Whatever it is it can't be that bad. I'll support you no matter what." Chakotay says supportively.

Kathryn takes a deep breath and starts speaking. "I've been avoiding my feelings for three years and now I need to speak my truth. If I don't my feelings will consume me. I love you, Chakotay. I have since you defended me the first time. When Mark's message came through to tell me that he was engaged to someone else my heart soared. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to tell you so." She leans against the rails of the balcony. Tears glisten in her eyes as she watches Chakotay pace the small balcony.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier? You could have told me and I wouldn't have told anyone else on board." Chakotay says resentfully.

"I couldn't have told you. I was so stuck on Starfleet protocol and getting home that I didn't see the point of forging close relationships. Besides, I still thought I was engaged to Mark. My loyalty was to him, but that has all changed. Please don't be angry with me, Chakotay. I couldn't have prevented this even if I wanted to." Kathryn says tearfully.

"I can't be angry with you, Kathryn. You just spilled your innermost thoughts and feelings to me. In fact, I'm ecstatic about your confession. I've been waiting to hear you say that you have feelings at all. I doubted it for a while. I love you too, Kathryn. I have since you decided to destroy the array without support from any of your crewmates. You were so brave considering you were in a situation you'd never been in before." Chakotay says holding Kathryn closely.

"Can we make this work? Can we just try to keep this quiet whatever it becomes?"Kathryn requests quietly as she wraps her arms around Chakotay's waist.

"Of course we can keep this quiet for a while. We will make this work. What do you mean whatever this becomes? It will become a wonderful, positive, intimate relationship. We are capable of making it exactly what we want it to be." Chakotay says as he rubs Kathryn's back.

Kathryn relaxes into Chakotay's arms. He's hugged her often, but not ever for this long. She smiles into his chest. She's so glad she told Chakotay the truth.

"Can I kiss you?" Chakotay whispers in Kathryn's ear.

"I thought you'd never ask. You took long enough." Kathryn teases.

"I had to regain my courage and all my brain to catch up with all the information you've given me." Chakotay explains before he leans forward and lays a kiss on Kathryn.

"If I'd know you were such a good kisser I would have told you the truth long ago." Kathryn says as she pulls away from the kiss.

"Would you really have told me earlier if you'd known I was such a fabulous kisser?" Chakotay asks, but he already knows the answer.

"Of course not, but you are an excellent kisser. I should have known you would be." Kathryn says sweetly.

"Shall we go dance? The crew will be getting suspicious of us being out here alone for so long." Chakotay asks as he reaches for Kathryn's hand.

"I would love to have another dance with you. You dance divinely." Kathryn says as they walk back through the balcony doors. The Blue Danube Waltz is just starting as they step into the ball room. They immediately fall into step on the floor. Chakotay doesn't step on Kathryn's toes once. The rest of the crew doesn't really notice that their commanding officers have joined them again. They just join the dance naturally.


	7. You Didn't Turn Her Down!

As the last strains of the waltz fade Chakotay and Kathryn walk back to their table. Kathryn pours both of them another glass of wine. B'Elanna immediately bombards Kathryn with questions, wanting to know the details of what happened on the balcony. Kathryn laughs. Her crew is so curious. They've become so concerned for each other's well-being. "I told him the truth."

"Oh, please, tell you didn't turn her down, Chakotay." B'Elanna says forcefully.

"I couldn't turn Kathryn down for anything, least of all this. I've only been waiting to hear her say she loves me since I stepped on board Voyager." Chakotay says calmly.

"So, you're in a relationship now then?" Tom asks as he sips his beer.

"Yes, we are in a relationship, but we'd prefer that you don't tell anyone else about this. We want some quiet time for our relationship. It's going to be hard to keep this a secret on this ship, but we'd like to try." Kathryn says trying to keep her relationship under wraps.

"We'll do our very best to keep your relationship quiet. If anyone mentions that they think you're in relationship what should we say to them?" B'Elanna asks. She wants to protect her friends from the gossip that goes through a ship of this size.


	8. Formal Wear is Uncomfortable!

"Shall we sneak out of here quietly? We need some time to ourselves." Chakotay asks as he leans towards Kathryn.

"We'll head back to my cabin then shall we?" Kathryn asks she finishes off her wine.

"I'll go get our coats and then we can head out. I'll be right back." Chakotay says as he kisses Kathryn's cheek.

Kathryn smiles. Chakotay has been lovely throughout the entire process. "I'll see you all tomorrow. Enjoy the rest of your evening." Kathryn says as Chakotay comes back across the room. He helps Kathryn into her coat and she buttons it carefully. Chakotay slips his full length coast back on and buttons it up. He pulls his gloves out of his pocket and slips them on. Kathryn ties her scarf around and pulls her gloves on. Chakotay puts his hand on Kathryn's lower back. They head out into the cold weather. The wind has picked up and Kathryn huddles closer to Chakotay as they cross the snowy meadow. The doors to the holodeck whoosh open and closed when they walk through. The holo-snow disappears as they reach the hallway. Kathryn sighs as the warmth of the hallway seeps back into her fingers and toes. The rest of the crew is still at the party and the hallways are empty and silent. The turbolift quickly brings them to deck 3. Chakotay and Kathryn walk towards her cabin hand in hand. The door of Kathryn's cabin opens and then closes behind them leaving them in pitch darkness. "Computer, bring the lights up to 70%." Kathryn says forcefully. Immediately the lights brightly illuminate the cabin. Kathryn flops, as best she can in her gown, onto the couch. Chakotay follows her across the room and sits next to her. Kathryn watches the stars fly past. Chakotay worries that she's shutting down on him.

"What are you thinking about?" he asks gently. He doesn't want to interrupt her thinking, but he wants to know if something is bothering her.

"What's going to happen next with us? I'm a little worried about how this is all going to turn out." Kathryn says as she continues to watch the stars go by.

"Don't worry about all that now. We can't predict the future. We just have to live in the present. We will do the best we can." Chakotay says as he holds Kathryn in his arms.

"When did you become such a wise man? I wish you'd been around in my life a lot earlier. I could have used your good advice when I was younger. Thank you for reassuring me. I needed that from you. I doubt myself more than I should." Kathryn says sinking her head onto Chakotay's chest.

"We can do this Kathryn. We have a strong base. We're close friends and we trust each other already. That should make the relationship easier. Let's just be natural with this." Chakotay says as Kathryn lays her head in his lap. Chakotay starts pulling the pins out of Kathryn's hair and untwists it. He runs his fingers through her lovely red hair. He's trying to reassure her that everything will be okay. Kathryn sits up and places one hand on Chakotay's cheek and kisses him on the lips. Chakotay bends Kathryn backwards as they continue to kiss and Kathryn feels the zipper of her dress dig into her back.

"Ow! Ow!" Kathryn cries as she pulls back from the kiss. She flinches at the pain of her zipper.

"What's wrong?" Chakotay asks as he watches Kathryn's facial expressions.

"My zipper is digging into my back." Kathryn whines slightly.

"I'm not exactly comfortable in this suit either. Why don't we both go change and meet back here in ten minutes?" Chakotay asks as he rubs the spot in Kathryn's back where the top of her zipper sits.

"That's the best idea I've heard since I put this dress on six hours ago." Kathryn says as she slips her silver pumps off.

"I'll be back in 10 minutes then." Chakotay says as he kisses Kathryn's cheek and exits the room.


End file.
